TAKING PERSONAL INVENTORY: QUARANTINING IN MY SINGLENESS

April 24, 2020 by iamsummerterry

First let me start off by asking….How are you? No truly, how are you holding up? Never in my lifetime did I ever imagine that I would witness such a massive health pandemic and statewide shut down. Nonetheless here we are. People are dying in mass quantities, and my Black people we are dying off at such large proportions. I want to say a huge Thank You to all the healthcare workers, transit workers, first responders, grocery store clerks, pharmacy technicians, and every essential worker out there risking their health for us. For those of you who are not essential workers please STAY HOME! Limit outside activities to a minimum for essential errands. I can’t tell you how much it infuriates me to see people online having gatherings with friends, people visiting friends homes with their newborns, ladies risking it all to get their nails and hair done, etc. It literally makes me sick to my stomach! But I digress because that’s not what this blogpost is about. This blog post is about how I’m handling the quarantine in my singleness.

I used to think being single was the worst thing ever. My best-friend would most definitely label me as a serial monogamist. Fast forward to 2020 I am so comfortable in my singleness and I didn’t realize that until the quarantine. How so? I’m glad you asked. While there are many articles during this time targeted to couples and parents, well what about the singles. As a homebody I take pleasure in my alone time and space and as a single woman I take pleasure in no drama as it pertains to men. In this season of singleness during the quarantine I’m not obligated to split my time and attention to caring for no-one but myself. I’m able to fully focus on what makes me laugh, what makes me sad, what motivates me, what are my triggers, and what do I crave in life. I pamper myself with decadent meals that feel good to my soul. If you add it with a movie and a glass of wine then it’s a date! Time is not a thought when I scoop out rich body butters and smooth them over my entire body not missing a crack or crevice. I pamper my skin with lengthy routines and regimens and I indulge in romantic baths just for me. I basically just love up on me a little bit more than normal now.

Well what does this have to do with singleness? Because I’m single I get to focus 100,000% on me, my thoughts and God. Minus all the external activities mentioned above I get to look inside myself and heal past trauma with no distractions. There are many people dating with battling trauma inside, picking the wrong partners, creating babies with he wrong partners, and marrying the wrong partners. Some people are just realizing that during this quarantine because this is probably the most time they’re spent with each other. When you’re single and you’re focus isn’t on dating you can really be still with your thoughts. And let me preface this by stating just because you’re focus isn’t on dating doesn’t mean you’re not open to it. Trust there are time where you do just want to be cuddled or want a strong chest to lay your head on, etc. But you get to discover so many great things about yourself that will be a beneficial asset once you do enter in a partnership. Things like do you enjoy you’re own company, are you a good family member/friend, could you be a better family member/friend, what’s your purpose, and how do you fulfill your purpose. If marriage is something you do desire what kind of wife do you want to be, how can you start implementing those wifely traits, what are specific characteristics you want in a husband, do you mirror that and if not how can I begin to do so.

What I’m basically saying is I stopped looking at singleness as a punishment like where is my King and I put more attention into nurturing the Queen in me.

Stay Safe & Healthy!

xoxo,

Summer Terry